Open Letter to the Prime Minister on the Penal Code Amendment

Salutations Prime Minister of Singapore,

It is rare that a pastafarian addresses the helmsman of a state directly, however the time has come for us to speak, in the name of our great Flying Spaghetti Monster.

We support your decisions about retaining Section 377A, because there is nothing about homosexuals in our Gospels and we cannot decide whether it is right. However, we take big issues with the other proposed amendments.

First of all, Section 377 must be retained, as legalizing carnal intercourse will incur His wrath. He created us to eat pasta, and not each other! Such blasphemy will incite him to condemn Singaporeans to centuries of bland diet without Hokkien mee.

Furthermore, people committing adultery should be stoned to death.

We also ask that the Government declares every Friday to be a religious holiday, and everyone must eat pasta and wear an eye patch on Friday, not forgetting to say "Yar"!

Pastafarians are in fact the majority of this society, despite they tend to be invisible because our Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster keeps changing censure data to protect His children from harassment from the ISD. Since our Gospels say this is the Truth, we have no qualm about imposing it on the rest of the country.

We pray that his noodly appendages will be with you, and your starchy team. Ramen.